That Wall is Coming Down

Flipping through the papers on his desk one more time, William made sure that every section on every form was filled out in a satisfactory manner. He frowned at the chicken scratch that was Eric's handwriting. It had taken him fifteen minutes alone to decipher what the Shinigami had written. He just sighed and skipped over re-reading the looping scrawl that was Grell's, peered a little closer at Alan's-he had a tendency to put the letter 'e' where it didn't belong- and stopped. There was a report missing. The single report that he rarely ever had trouble reading. Ronald would always put little notes everywhere in his report. It could get a tad distracting, trying to decipher all the notes and figure out how they related to the entire report, which was always written in careful, strained handwriting. Comparing it to the notes, William knew that writing neatly was not what Ronald was used to. However, no matter how many times he flipped through his stack of reports, he couldn't find that strained handwriting. He glanced at the clock. 7:30pm. It was almost time to go home for the night and still no report from punctual Ronald.

Letting out a quick sigh, William stood from his desk. He neatly pushed in his chair and left his office, making sure the door was closed and locked behind him. He walked down the hall way and stopped before the door labeled "Ronald Knox, Shinigami". He always felt that the name plates were a bit much and not to mention more than redundant, but nothing was ever done about them. He let the little peeve float on by as he knocked on the door. No answer. He heard movement from inside and knocked again. Still no answer. He pushed open the door.

"Ronald." He said. The other Shinigami turned to look at him with almost a dreamy, somewhat forlorn, gaze.

"William Sempai …" Came Ronald's response. The hazed look didn't disappear, nor did Ronald move. Had he been sleeping?

"Your report." William took a step forward, "You never handed in your report for your last mission. You just got back this morning, correct?" Of course he just got back that morning. The question was unnecessary. It was recorded specifically when a Shinigami began and finished a mission. He saw to that. Regardless, the question was asked. Out of a sense of civility if nothing else.

"Report...?" Ronald glanced back at his desk, "Oh! The report!" He shuffled through the mess of papers that were on his desk. William noted that there were at least five pages filled with the same scribbled handwriting that his notes were written with. He leaned forward just a bit to see if he could decipher some of it, but Ronald turned around far too quickly for him to see anything.

"Here!" Ronald said with that cheery smile of his. He handed out the paper, the smile not faltering on his lips. Not even when William took hold of the paper but didn't stop staring.

"You're forcing it." William said as he finally relieved Ronald of his report.

"What?" Ronald tilted his head a little and furrowed his brows quizzically.

"Your smile, you're forcing it." William slipped the paper in between the pages of the book he had the tendency to carry around. His expression remained impassive as he watched the look of confusion on Ronald's face turn into that of knowing and was that...hesitation? William took another step forward. He raised his eyebrows very slightly when Ronald leaned towards him a fraction of an inch, "Why?"

"Why what, William Sempai?" It seemed that Ronald still did not quite follow William's train of thought. He must have been greatly distracted by something.

"Why are you forcing the smile, Ronald? It's unlike you."

Ronald laughed and rubbed the back of his head, "Has anyone ever told you that you are one sharp cookie, Sempai?" He smiled up at William, "I dunno. I just...wanted to smile."

William pushed up his glasses, briefly hiding his mild irritation behind his hand. He was dodging the question, "If you wanted to smile then it wouldn't have been forced."

Ronald's smile faltered for a moment, "William Sempai..."

"You're preoccupied with something. Whatever it is, you're being prevented from fulfilling the requirements of your duties here as a Shinigami. As your superior I demand an explanation." William reached around Ronald and pulled up a chair that had been haphazardly discarded next to his desk. He sat directly in front of the other, placing his book on the table. He slipped his right ankle up onto his left knee and folded his hands in his lap, "Talk."

"William Sempai, you sure have a funny way of trying to make someone feel better." Ronald moved his chair a little closer to William's, his desire to be closer slowly winning out against his reasoning.

"Ronald Knox, answer me." The fact that Ronald continually danced around the information that he needed to know, or rather wanted to know for need may be too strong a word to use in this context, was starting to get to him. He leaned forward a bit, "If I can stop this newly found wishy-washy behavior from continuing, I will." William leaned back a bit when Ronald burst out laughing across from him. He watched as the youth doubled over and tried to squeeze out words William could not comprehend.

"You said...wishy...washy..." Ronald wheezed as he tried to sit up, "It... wa-was r-really f-f-funny." He continued laughing.

William rested his face behind his hand and took a couple of deep breaths before reaching out and putting a hand on either side of Ronald. He held on to his arms and forced him to stop squirming around while having a fit of some sort. Ronald abruptly stopped laughing and his eyes widened. Was that a blush that William detected? No matter. It wasn't important at the time. Little known to William, it had everything to do with what he was about to ask.

"I'll repeat myself," He started, "What has been distracting you so much lately?" He watched as Ronald's adams apple slowly moved up and down as he swallowed slowly. He could see it in Ronald's eyes, the other thought there was no escaping this one. And he was right. William wasn't leaving this room until he had a satisfactory answer.

"I..."

"Don't even think of finishing that sentence with 'don't know'."

"Okay! Okay, I wont. Um," Ronald drops his eyes. He couldn't make eye contact, not when William was staring at him like that. It was difficult enough just being so close to him. The way he smelled, how his hands felt wrapped so tightly around his arms. He started wondering how they would feel other places when he felt William squeeze a little. He looked up, his eyes wide, making contact with those vibrant green orbs of William's. He swallowed again. How was he supposed to tell the man in front of him that he was borderline obsessed with him, "It's true, I've been distracted lately." He held up his hand as high as he could with William pinning him to his chair when he saw the impatience starting to grow in his eyes, "I've been thinking a lot about, uh, a person."

"Ronald..."

"Wait! Wait, if you say something I might, ya know, lose my nerve." Ronald bit his lip and looked away from those piercing eyes. He fidgeted a little in his seat before glancing up. He wasn't surprised to see that William hadn't moved even a centimeter since he grabbed on to him. That man could probably fool someone into thinking he was a statue, if he ever wanted to try something so silly that is, "It's...you."

"Me?" William watched as Ronald nodded rapidly, "Why would you be thinking abou-" William dropped the sentence as realisation dawned on him. He hadn't always been the best when it came to handling other people's emotions and had a tendency to use a very professional and diplomatic manner when something extreme came up, but he hadn't really dealt with confessions of the heart very often (No, Grell doesn't count). He stared intently at Ronald as if just looking at him would give him the words to say what he was trying to formulate into thoughts. If he was this jumbled by hearing it, he couldn't even imagine how Ronald must be feeling right now.

"You don't have to say anything." Ronald said barely above a whisper. He stared intently at his lap, the hands gripping him now feeling like a prison sentence rather than a pathway to heaven. He bit back the tears that filled his eyes, making his vision blurry. No way was he going to let himself cry over this, especially not in front of William.

"You're upset." William's grip tightened. What was he supposed to do? He was no good with this kind of thing. How could someone be in love with him? He was cold and callous and he kept everyone around him at arms length all because he wasn't sure how to handle other people'e emotions. He sighed, "I doubt I'm who you think I am, Ronald." He was shocked when the younger man whipped his head up. His eyes were filled with a passion that he had never seen before. It was just as evident as the tears threatening to spill down his smooth cheeks.

"How can you say that? You're always so up front and to the point, so calculating and cool headed." He pulled his arm out of William's grip and pointed, "But your eyes, William Sempai, your eyes. They tell an entirely different story. If you look close enough it's like you can see the thoughts as the whiz through your brain. It's always subtle, but your feelings, your emotions are there. When you're uncertain you always stare really hard, when you're angry you do your best not to hold eye contact for very long if at all. When you're happy you hide it behind your hand. You are dedicated to your job and when someone comes back hurt there is always this little flash of concern just there in the corner of your eye before you look away." Ronald's chest was heaving. He hadn't even realised that he had begun to yell. Any other words died in his throat when William took his hand in his own and slowly put it back in Ronald's lap.

"You watch me far more then you let on." William, unsure of what else to do, patted the back of Ronald's hand. He watched as the tears overflowed and slid down his face. He took out the handkerchief that he always kept with him and patted Ronald's cheeks, which only caused him to cry even harder and throw himself into William's chest. He looked down, unsure of what to do. He thought about all the people he knew and about what they would do in that situation and decided to do a little combinatorial work without a terrible amount of flair. He put one of his arms around Ronald's shoulder and rubbed his hand against his back slowly. He waited until Ronald calmed down a bit and the sobbing sounds came with more and more time in between them before pulling back a little bit. He felt Ronald cling on to him before hesitantly letting go. He cupped Ronald's chin in his hand and tilted it upwards.

"Don't cry." He wiped away the remaining tears, "It makes your skin splotchy and your eyes will get dry and uncomfortable." William sighed, "Besides, you look better when you smile anyway." He pushed the handkerchief into Ronald's palm, "Keep that. I have more." He hugged him again when Ronald's eyes teared up again, "Calm down. It's okay. Take a deep breath. Count to four. Hold it for four counts, then let it out for four counts." He could feel Ronald's breathing slowly even out. Once he was sure that he wasn't crying anymore, he pulled himself out of the hug.

"I have to get back to work now." He started standing up but stopped when Ronald grabbed his arm.

"William Sempai!" Ronald cried out. The anguish on his face was enough to get William to stop in his tracks. How was he supposed to fix that? Could simple words fix any of that? He patted Ronald's head before grabbing his book and walking towards the door. He heard a quiet, "Please don't go." He stopped, his hand on the doorknob. He closed his eyes, wincing, before turning around. He closed the distance between them and knelt down on in front of him.

"What are you doing for dinner tonight?"

"W-what? William Sempai?" Ronald leaned forward a little, getting closer to William. Close enough to feel his breath against his skin when William spoke.

"I'll make you dinner tonight. No more of that bar food." He stood and hesitantly patted Ronald on the head, "I'll come and get you after I file your report." He walked back to the door, this time not looking back. If he did, he'd stop again and he didn't think he could handle that right now. His control was already shot as it was. He closed the door behind him and was half way down the hallway when he heard a whoop of glee. He paused and looked back at the closed door signed "Ronald Knox, Shinigami".

Maybe he could get used to seeing that name plate more often.